If you are a hinge point for the habits of your family tree, you are going to feel growing pains. That is, if you wish to hold on to only what works with your family yet grow in all other ways, it is natural that the people you are around, the habits that you develop… The way you behave… It is going to cause those around you quite a bit of discomfort. You are actively choosing not to follow much of what has gotten them to where they are.
But if you don’t like where they are, don’t do what they did.
However, you must do this with a sort of humility. Just because you don’t like where they are doesn’t mean that simply doing the opposite is going to get you to a place that you do like. Instead, it seems best to do research, create an educated guess and then try it out. And listen. Listen closely to where it is bringing you. Pivot when necessary. Ignore the theoretical sunk cost. You need to sink some cost into these things.
It isn’t just for you; it is for your family tree.