I don’t know why, but I tend to enjoy making that which is typically unconscious, conscious. For instance, despite the common language that one should “never explain a joke”, I find the process of doing so to be extraordinarily enjoyable.
When we dissect a joke, or a social normality, or whatever else, we are then able to “conquer” not only the concept itself, but also the sub-concepts it is made up of. If we understand these sub-concepts, we will always be one step ahead of conquering any concept that incorporates them. We are more flexible.
That is to say, I actually broke down and defined my priorities in life when I was fairly young — maybe 17 or 18 if I remember correctly.
And they’ve actually stuck.
I only want two things from this life:
- Get married, raise a family.
- Create and run an interactive media business.
And what I’ve always said is that these are my exclusive pursuits, so long as I continue to be called by God to pursue them.
Now that I am older, however, I am finding some degree of misunderstanding in these. Or, not to say that they should be changed, but instead that the ambient effect of pursuing such things is not quite as I’d expected.
That is to say, neither of these pursuits has even begun to blossom — I am neither married nor do I have a product successful enough to employ — and yet I cannot believe what life the pursuits have brought me.
If everything I do is in service to these things (ultimately upstreaming to God), individual experiences, even, seemingly become better and better.
For example, when I moved back to Fort Worth, TX, I wanted to replicate the sort of friend group that I had in Asheville, NC. Now, I wasn’t intentional about the one in Asheville — it just sort of formed — but when I saw it, and when I saw one of my friends sort of leading it, I thought to myself, “isn’t this sort of thing similar to a business? Isn’t the way these emotions are being handled between peers sort of a training ground for being either a dad or a boss?”
And I think this is the case.
So I kept these thoughts in the back of my mind as opportunities arose to bring more people into a group, ultimately leading to some of my most fruitful experiences of the past year. Hearing people’s lives, learning to listen and help them navigate their woes with an open hand rather than following my natural proclivity and trying to force their decisions. Etc. etc.
Everyone has such individual and interesting problems!
Now, admittedly, I spend most of my time with single, 20s and 30s individuals, so many of the problems of this group are in the category of love, longing, sex, relationships, confusion, regret, shame, naivety, separation, etc., and I am becoming curious to see problems of a different sort, but even within this realm, the net of problems is seemingly vast and endless.
Having these set priorities, despite their not being executed thus far, has led me in a much more fulfilling direction than if I had aimlessly wandered for this time. Limiting and focusing one’s ambitions seems to me essential.